First lets clarify the meaning of an "inane" answering message. We all get them on our answering machines. An inane message is a senseless or meaningless message, or a prank call. Or, it could be an insane message.
So, Inane Answering Message Day is a day to end those numerous, annoying inane answering machine messages. Trouble is.......how do you do that? In todays, world, caller Id is a great tool to accomplish this goal.
I hope you never get one of these top ten phone messages:
10. Yes, we are avoiding people and screening our calls. Please leave a message. If we like you, we'll pick up the phone or call you back. If we don't pick up the phone or call back, take a hint.
9. I can't come to the phone right now. That creep Ernie left me again and guess what? He's seein that witch down the street. Figures, right? Liar! If I had a dime for every time he told me how ugly she was, geez what a creep! Anyway, I'm off to find them. Now where did I put that knife?
8. This is Juan's answering service. Juan had bad Mexican food last night and can't come to the phone right now. Leave a message and he'll call you back after he's done.
7. Hello and welcome to my phone, if you know the name of the person you are trying to reach press 1. If you don't know the name of the person you are trying to reach press 2. If you don't give a crap about the person you are trying to reach, get off the phone so someone who cares about me can call.
6. Hello?, hello?, I can't hear you! I think my phone is out of order. Call me back.
5. Is this thing on? Hun, I don't know if it's working. Ya, I did that but nothings happening. What's this button for? Is that how you do it? Oh crap, I can't figure it out. To heck with it, we don't need a stupid message machine anyway, just one more time I gotta hear that mother of yours.....
4. Ya, dude, so you know that night we got really wasted and woke up not knowing what happened? Well today these two policemen showed up at my door, and ya, well it looks like I won't be around for a while, dude, so if you call don't like, leave a number a number or anything, I think they're like on to us or something. Whoa man don't put those cuffs so tight! Seriously dude, don't leave a number.
3. You have reached (cough, cough) Jeremy. I'm too (ahem) sick to come to the phone. (Party Voice)Oh ya, that's right, they don't have this number. Marty just bring the keg to the back door. I'm at the store picking up some grub for the game. If this is the hot chick from hooters the party's at five.
2. You have reached the love doctor, you sweet thang. Why don't you come over baby? I'll show you a real good time. Let me tell you what I can do for you. I've got something special for you honey. I'm gonna make you wish.... (Brooklyn Mom voice breaks in) Hey, love machine!, you wanna get this trash outta here!, startin ta look like a freakin dump! (Heavy brooklyn male accent) AAW cmon, Ma, give a man a break, hah?, Trying to make a message here... see now you made me erase it.
1. Billy Bob!, that you callin an hangin up all the time? Get your fancy church goin self over here, these youngins need diapers an such, Becky Sue dun messed all over herself agin an leroy's got the flu bug. That new womin of yours so good you dun forgot you got youngins er what? Caint unnerstand why y'all lef up outta here anyhow. I'se good to ya weren't I? Oh sweet jesus, I gotta go. No Bobbylinda, that there's mommy's special stuff. You leave a number this time Billy Bob, ya hear?